Taking Control Through Choice

In light of recent events many of us have lost our Christmas spirit. Some feel like skipping the celebrations all together.

We need to embrace that spirit like never before.

When my oldest child boarded the school bus for the first day of kindergarten I smiled and waved like a perky pageant queen. As soon as that sunshine yellow child thief lumbered off I burst into tears.

It had nothing to do with my baby growing up, but everything to do with losing control.

For the first time I would not know what or how my child was doing all day. I was leaving him to his own devices and the care of strangers.

Even as a working mother I’d been able to call the babysitter, who was also family, at any time for updates. I could find out what they were doing, hear his voice or even stop by if I was so inclined. 

The beginning of public school changed all that.

Losing control meant gaining fear and anxiety as a parent.

As the world becomes increasingly chaotic and self-destructive we can feel overwhelmed by despair or even hopelessness. Every newscast seems more tragic then the last.

I can’t control what is happening in our nation and across the world. I can’t turn around the economy. I can’t stop senseless violence. I can’t put an end to hate.

I can control my little piece of this world.

This holiday season I can celebrate peace, charity and love. I can make my home a place of comfort and joy and teach my children how to spread goodness in their little part of the world.

If many of us choose to act in this way all of our little pieces could add up to something really wonderful.

Darkness and tragedy may be thrust upon us, but it is our choice in how we react.

What support will we give? What strength will we gain?

I adapted to having children in school as all parents do. The teachers and staff that were “strangers” are now treasured friends. In a school of 1200 students the phenomenal ladies in the office call me and my children by our first names.

How did I go from terror to trust? I chose to embrace the new environment. Really to jump in with both feet. Cupcakes for a party? Sign me up. Parent teacher conferences? Never missed one. Kindergarten Career Day? Who knew you could hold five-year-olds spell bound with a model of a clogged artery?

By being a positive presence I felt more in control of my children’s environment.

This Christmas I’m choosing to make my part of the world as bright as I can, for the sake of my family and my fellow man. Maybe no one else will notice, but I think just making that choice will give me a little more control over the fear and horror that has been reigning unchecked lately.

I will choose where I stand and I will not be moved.

What are you going to choose to do with your part of the world?

A Happy New Year

I have read dozens of articles on how to get fit, organized and financially savvy in the new year. While I have resolutions involving all of those things they aren't the main focus of my plans. I want 2012 to be my year of happy, and I'm taking all of you with me.

This is not another story of "count your blessings, you're so much better off than all the other poor saps". While there is a good chance that's probably true, I would be judging things at face value. We can't know what hidden demons anyone is facing. I recently read a blog entry, of a normally wildy funny and caustic writer, where she described the deep depression and self-hurting or "cutting" she had been experiencing. This blogger was ashamed and terrified to reveal this side of herself to her huge loyal following. Her posting was answered by thousands of supportive comments and tweets, by her shocked and relieved friends and fans. I say shocked because so many of them were in disbelief that such darkness was hiding behind a lively mask. The relief came from the many that suffered their own depressions and felt completely alone until they heard her voice.

January and February are the grey months. The joy and excitement of the holidays are over with nothing to look forward to until spring. Even the sunniest among us can fade this time of year. So take care of yourself. Do something everyday to make yourself smile. Take a deep breath. Do it again. Listen to your favorite song. Turn it up and sing along. At the top of your lungs. If you're not in your car, dance too. Get enough sunshine. Listen to kids books on CD while you drive. Even if you don't have kids. Drink orange juice, it's sunshine in a glass. If you're not eating enough veggies, take a vitamin. Never mind, take a vitamin anyway.

Once you've boosted you're happy rating a little bit, I'm begging you to spread it around. We have no idea how many of our friends, neighbors and even the complete strangers we run into everyday are suffering. They may have the two car garage and the shiny family photo on the wall, but we can't see the pain that lies within. So everyday in 2012 pass on a little happiness. Smile extra brightly at the grumpy cashier. Text a friend or send them a message on Facebook wishing them a good day. No I don't mean a blanket message out to all your 'peeps'. I'm talking about something special to let that person know they are not alone. A few simple goofy words.

You never know what a little sunshine could do for a person. Maybe you'll change their day, or maybe you'll change their whole year.